OOTD: The New Icons and the Marilyn Monroe moment!

Today, I became one of those girls. "What girls?" I hear you all ask (well, actually you're probably just saying 'get on with it love, stop waffling!' but it doesn't give quite the same effect does it?) The girls I'm talking about are the ones that at the first sight of sun, act like they're suddenly in Dubai. Out come the Rayban's, off come the layers of clothing (in a completely non-perverted way of course) and off to Starbucks for a frappuccino they go. Well, for some completely strange and unknown reason, the sun came out today - you know what I mean people of the UK, that big yellow ball in the sky? I know, I'd forgotten what it was too - and as stated at the beginning of the post, I became one of those girls!

I tell you what sort of person I didn't become though, I didn't become one of those with enough common sense to realise that sunny doesn't necessarily mean not windy. But you know what, I've always been a big fan of Marilyn Monroe, so if unintentionally showing your Beyonce wannabe arse is good enough for her, it's good enough for me.

Cue extremely boring/not special at all/slutty suitably short outfit that Mazza herself would have been proud of (...or most likely, turned in her grave)
I wasn't joking when I said it was windy was I? not by the state of that barnet love...
"Quick Mum the wind's stopped, hurry up and take it!"
Poor, poor attempt at showing off my new favourite t-shirt ("that is your new favourite t-shirt?" Yes, I'm easily pleased) it's from H&M's new collection 'The New Icons' - you'd never guess it was called that would you? - and is based on four models Lindsey Wixon, Joan Smalls, Daphne Groeneveld (even spell checker struggled with that bad boy of a name) and Liu Wen. Well, if I can't look like a supermodel, I may as well have their t-shirt right?...right!
Unintentional 'crotch shot' to show you (well, try to anyway) the details of the skirt. I picked up this little number in the sale - of course I did #TightArse, #BargainHunter, #thrifty, #WhatKnobUsesHashtagsInBlogPosts *guilty face* - and I absolutely love it. Perfect for summer, but just as nice with a pair of tights underneath in the winter. Oh I bloody love a multi-use item!

Skirt that betrayed my arse' modesty: River Island
'the new icons' t-shirt: H&M
Jacket: Good old Toppers: Or to anybody not acting a tit...Topshop
Jeffrey Campbell rip-offs: Ever Yours

And that's about that for the pictures. To be honest, how on earth I made it through to the end without completely exposing myself - due to the gale force winds, not because I'm some strange streaker - is an absolute miracle. Oh, hold on....

...ahhh, it was all going so well!

Hope you enjoyed this post guys. As always, thank you so much for reading!


REVIEW: An introduction to Chanel

Sometimes in life, sad, unexplainable things happen. We can't always put our fingers on why, or how, we can't always get the closure we so desperately crave. Loss is such a terrible thing and each and every one of us deals with it in or own different ways.

I was confronted with those feelings this week.

R.I.P Laguna, you've served me well!
First I cried (pure exaggeration, although I wasn't far off) then I got angry (slight exaggeration, although the tight arse in me does not appreciate expensive products coming to an end) and then I pulled myself together, got my still not Beyonce sized arse in gear and got myself to the shops within the hour (no exaggeration at all. My face - Nars Laguna = Corpse-like skin. Sexy...)

Now, as much as I love my Nars Laguna an embarrassing amount, there are just so many bronzers out there and the natural shopaholic, superficial cow, beauty junkie beauty blogger in me had to branch out and try something new. I mean, it would be rude - to all the other brands out there - not to wouldn't it? Yep, that's exactly what I thought too.

This week I have also played tour guide for one of my Canadian family members that has come over to visit and of course, no good tour guide would leave out a trip to Oxford St - and more specifically Selfridges, House of Fraser and John Lewis - would they? No, they wouldn't. So, all in the name of trying to be a good tour guide, we took a trip to my mecca, my second homes, my happy place 'the power three' just to finish off the whole tourist experience. And obviously it had nothing to do with the fact that my bronzer died on me and I didn't fancy looking like a ghost/corpse for much longer. Nothing at all...

After much browsing of just about every beauty counter, a hand so caked in Bronzer swatches that I looked like I'd been gardening and many dirty looks from many beauty assistants - am I the only one who gets the 'my s**t don't smell' vibe? - I ended up at Chanel.

Welcome to 'the Elle next door'  Soleil Tan de Chanel...where have you been all my life?
Ahh the cons of having shocking eye sight (not that there's any perks either) looking back at pictures and realising you - and you're ratty barnet - are in the reflection. Screw you shiny packaging, screw you!

I've never tried this bronzer before, or any cream bronzer like this as it goes so I was a bit dubious to begin with - which isn't the best feeling when you've just forked out £31 *faints on the floor for the second time* - but thank the lord, I had no reason to be. Because I absolutely love this bad boy. Why? Well, give me a bloody chance and I'll tell you ;)

The texture and application - probably one of my favourite things about the product is the texture. It really is so creamy - not that you'd ever guess, you know, with it being a cream bronzer and all that... - which in turn, makes it so blendable and easy to work with and coming from a clumsy tit like myself, that can make hard work of the easiest things, that really does say something! I use it with either a Real Techniques buffing brush (more for overall bronzing) or a Real Techniques countour brush (if I fancy a bit more of 'Kim Kardashian chiselled cheek effect. Who am I kidding? It's a bronzer, not a miracle worker. *Sighs*)
Colour and longevity - I'm not gonna lie, when I first twisted off the - beautifully designed - lid (which just makes you feel classy by the way doesn't it? not that I will ever be considered classy. Ever!) my first thoughts were "I wonder if Willy Wonka's got room for another Oompa Loompa in his chocolate factory?" Yeah, I had a horrible feeling this bad boy was going to make me resemble a muddy carrot but, do you know what? Chanel pulled it out the bag with this one. Natural, even, dark enough to make a difference (on my nc25-nc30 skin) but not too dark that you're bordering on Katie Price. Also a massive thumbs up for the longevity, 9hours later and it genuinely looked no different to how it did when I first applied it. Score!!
So, I reckon that's about it when it comes to my embarrassing gushes review for this product. I suppose all that's left is to show you a picture of on it, you know, so you can really get an idea of just what the product does. I know I find that really useful when I'm reading other bloggers reviews of certain products so I hope it's the same for you too. Here's Soleil tan de Chanel in it's full glory...
Isn't it amazing? I thought so too, life changing! No, on a serious note I wasn't lucky enough to end up looking like the above, I also wasn't lucky enough to get a good enough picture (story of my life) so I've cropped a shockingly bad photo from an outfit picture I attempted yesterday. We all know this a crap attempt of trying to show you the product but just humour me for a moment and say you can see what I'm getting at yeah? Brilliant, you lot are the best ;)
If I can't have Kim Kardashian's arse, I may as well try and achieve her cheek bones. Well, I did say try!

Have any of you lovely lot tried Chanel's Soleil tan de Chanel? (jesus, what a mouthful!) Any devoted Nars Laguna lovers out there? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Hope you all enjoyed this post guys. As always, thanks so much for reading!


OOTD: Banana's in Pjyama's inspired...you read that right!

I think it's probably the same in any industry, in any walk of life in fact that you're going to come across 'banter' from time to time. In the industry I'm in however, I kind of feel like if you haven't "got banter" you may as well start considering another career. Unless you can put up with being taken the piss mickey out of on a regular basis, without saying anything back that is...(or maybe I've just landed jobs with a lot of 'blokey banter' or..maybe I've just got one of those faces that people like to mug off - take the p**s out of for anybody who's not as common as muck as I am from London or nearby) ...I am definitely going with the latter.

So with that in mind, I am mentally preparing myself to get an absolute ribbing/constant flow of verbal abuse for the following outfit. Bearing in mind the last time I wore my stripy trousers I was called "candy cane" "stick of rock" "zebra" and a whole other variety of ridiculous stripey objects all day, I can only imagine what derogatory nickname I will receive the day I wear/if I wear the below outfit. I'd say "Curtains" "Security" or "Banana's in Pyjamas" is a pretty safe bet. On second thoughts, that's probably a bit too polite.

Onto the outfit. Disclaimer - you will need to wack on the nearest pair on sunglasses you can find. If you don't, when you're blinded by my lairy, neon, bordering on unacceptable shirt...don't say I didn't warn you!
No people of England, the sun hasn't come out - yeah right, more chance of me going out in an outfit that isn't neutral...oh, awkward... - it's just little old me, branching out (well, attempting to anyway) of my very limited comfort zone!
 Now for a little bit more of a close up of the trousers. Apologies in advance for the near crotch/camel toe shot. Girl (trying to show off what the trousers look like) has gotta do, what a girl's gotta do! Yeah...thanks for that love!
Now, these trousers. I genuinely never thought I'd have the balls - or even want - to attempt to pull these off.  (Don't worry, I am well aware that I am definitely not 'pulling these off'...theoretically speaking of course, that would be a bit awkward if I just started undressing on camera *cue Full Monty theme tune* Da da da dah.) What was I saying? Oh yes, pulling them off. I don't think I've worn a pair of trousers that aren't sausage in the skin super skinny in about 5 years so I was worried that my scrawny legs would be a bit 'swamped' by these. Thankfully they're a lot less Harem like than I feared (sorry girls, I'm just not a harem fan) meaning they are just about acceptable. Long live drain pipe jeans!
Oh, while I'm here, shout out to Essie's cult classic Mint Candy Apple - shout out? who do I think I am, a bloody DJ? what a knob - which has been on my nails (not sure where else I thought you could put it) for 8, yes 8 days now. No chips, only the slightest tip wear on 1 finger. Amazing in my books, and that's coming from a girl who has more nail polish than Miranda Kerr gets Daily Mail online headlines. Yeah....impressive!

Security guard High Vis inspired shirt: Forever 21
Trousers to blame for my inevitable "Curtains" nickname: Primark (where else? #bargainbabe)
Shoes: Office
Battered and just about readable watch: Michael Kors
Cuff: H&M

Would it be a bit 'knob-ish' to applaud myself for being a bit more 'out there' with my outfit today? Yes, but you're probably going to do it anyway You're right, I am gonna do it anyway. If you'd have told me I would've been seen dead gone out in this ensemble I'd have probably called you mad. But here I am, giving security guards and curtain/wallpaper shops a run for their money! Oh how times have changed....until my next OOTD when I will be no doubt be back to black *cue Amy Winehouse* "We only said goodbye with words..." Sorry, I'll give up with the tunes now.

So, what are your takes on the neon/paisley trend guys? Feeling it, tried it out yourselves? If you have I'd love it if you could leave your links in the comments so I can cry that everybody can pull it off a thousand times better than I can take inspiration from you.

Hope you enjoyed this post guys. As always, thanks so much for reading :)


TOWIE Series 8...it's a wrap - The Make up, The Outfit, The Hair

Well, I am currently writing this post sprawled out like an absolute heffer sitting on my sofa with a McDonald's in one hand, and coffee in the other. Usually, I have no valid excuse for my state of trampiness. Today however, I do. Last night you see (Wednesday night, in typical fashion I ended up posting this 4days later #uselessblogger) was the TOWIE wrap party. It was also my first proper night OUT out in 3months, a free bar and a hello to my social life again. In other words, it was never going to end well!

The party was at No5 Cavendish Square, which is one of my favourite venues and there's not much else to say other than that it was an amazing, albeit pretty messy night, which quite clearly shows in the pictures. Oh, and to warn you/apologise in advance that this post is pretty much a photo-bomb of the TOWIE cast and crew. If you have no interest in the show/haven't got a clue what it is, this post will probably be extremely boring for you, if you do know and like the show, this post....will probably bore you too (great self promotion there Elle, knock yourself before anyone else can and all that...) I have however wacked in a bit of fashion and beauty towards the end i.e what I wore - I will never be able to write that without feeling like Jimmy Saville a raving pervert - and what make up I went for. Riveting info for you all there. Just riveting...
 Don't ask why/how I look so deformed in the photo above. I always knew I was flexible but I've almost done an 'exorcist' and plonked my head onto my shoulders. Attractive....
And of course, a TV wrap party isn't a wrap party without a good photo booth is it? Disclaimer * as a warning/please forgive me/apology/please don't unfollow me...in advance, I will reiterate the following. It was a free bar, it was my first big night out in what seemed like forever and we do work very hard. What I'm trying to say is we I pretty much look like a pile of shit in every single picture. Don't say you wasn't warned!

....I wasn't joking about the 'pile of s**t' thing was I? You certainly bloody wasn't screams the world!

Now, onto the outfit and make up. Firstly though - oh hurry up and get on with it you rambly bitch - I actually need to put it out there that on the day of the party I had been up since 6am and had done a full days work. (That's it, cover your back love!) So you can forgive me for my hair, make up, outfit and practically everything on my personal being for being a bit ropey can't you? Ahh, thank goodness for that!. What an understanding bunch you are ;)

Right, time for the make up, not that anybody would want to resemble my face, I am well aware of that. I am more listing this for my own benefit because I get embarrassingly happy talking about make up. Does that make me sad? Yes. Does that make me a loser? Probably. Do I care? Absolutely not!
Some products not included in this picture because...I was too lazy to root through my make up bag to find them. Someone say lazy bitch? LAZY BITCH


Mac Studio Tech - a mix of NC25 and NC30 to get a perfect match. Why is NC27 slightly pink by the way Mac experts? Or is it just me? Definitely just you love.
Nars Laguna - it's a classic and it's coming to an end and I'm actually gutted which definitely makes me a saddo and a bit of a tight arse!
Mac Well Dressed blush - don't check the packaging, it's a sign of being well loved!
Kevyn Aucoin Celestial Powder in Candlelight - there's a mouthful and a half


Urban Decay Smog - across the lid and under the bottom lash line
Urban Decay Half baked - in the centre of the lid
Collection Felt tip liner - it'll always be Collection 2000 in my eyes 
Maybelline Gel liner on the upper and lower waterline. Watery eye central! 
Maybelline The Rocket Waterproof - Love this. Review to come... 
Mac Lashes in Number 3 - not pictured as I woke up to them screwed up and stuck to my arms. Classy
Random browny/grey eyeshadow through the brows - I pride myself on being thorough with details, obviously...


Rimmel Kate Moss Matte Liptick - love the colour, hate the artificial smell.
Mac Angel - my first and all time fave Mac lipstick.

And for those of you not as superficial as me and on the verge of nodding off to sleep, some more snore worthy info for you coming up. Here's what I wore....
Now, as shocking as this is to believe, I never actually got a full length picture of me in my dress on the night (hence the dodgy 'test run' pic from when I tried it on 3days before, with no fake tan, no makeup and greasy hair. What a beaut!) The real reason for that is I was in too much of a rush to get to the venue and once I was there I was too enamoured in the photo booth and bar to even remember. I would've taken one when I arrived home but...well, there are no words to describe the state in which I arrived home in. Well, maybe one. Rough!

Oh and just to finish the whole 'look' off, if you fancy recreating my hair; find the nearest hedge, find your nearest enemy, and get them to drag you through it backwards. That will pretty much do it.

So there you have it, if you've actually made it to this point, you deserve a blue peter badge (remember those?) and also a thank you - and congrats, you're hardcore readers ;) - from me. I often get many messages about my work and personal life so I hope this post was interesting for you guys, and if it wasn't, I'll be back to writing about all things superficial in the next post.

As always, thank you so much for reading!


OOTD: Dress shopping and a shirt to trigger an epileptic fit!

Now, despite the following facts; a) I'm pretty much obsessed with clothes b) my wardrobe and clothes rail is over spilling like an over filled latte made by a shit ropey barista and c) I pretty much spend all of my free time perving...I mean reading, my favourite fashion blogs, I'm in a bit of a fashion quandary. (Can't help but feel like a bit of knob using the word 'quandary'...Is that just me? Yes love, just you!)

The Only Way is Essex - the show that I work on, before anyone thinks I'm a weird obsessive fan - is coming to an end, and a production coming to an end brings a wrap party! (it also brings the return of my social life, the end of eating Wagamama's every night and plenty more time to blog...but I won't moan/ramble/repeat myself for the 1000th time regarding that subject.) And with wrap parties, comes 'the' outfit, which obviously means I needed to dedicate a good couple of weeks days to looking for the right one. Any excuse, any excuse!

Here's what I wore when I dragged myself, kicking and screaming to go shopping. Ahh the things us girls have to go through...
Seeing as my outfit was shaping up to be as boring as watching a game of snooker, I thought I'd try and jazz it up a bit with a colourful shirt. As I said, I tried. Whether I pulled it off or not - definitely didn't, I know, you don't all have to scream it at your bloody screens ;) - is another matter altogether!
So, clearly I decided to be educational in the above and below pictures. When you're crossing the roads kids, look to your left, and look to your right....
....just ignore the fact that I've basically got my eyes closed kids. My teaching skills are clearly as good as my photography. In a word...shite! (ignore that last words too kids)

Jacket: Topshop
Shirt lary enough to cause an epileptic fit: H&M
Skirt: Primark
Shoes: Ebay

True to form, I failed in my quest today and ended up ordering a dress online instead. (I did however, succeed in making the most of Boots 3 for 2. Picture evidence below) It was only after I ordered it however, that I realised it was pretty popular with the TOWIE cast. This terrified slightly worried me for two reasons. 1) I don't quite go for the typical 'Essex' look. (well there's a diplomatic sentence if I've ever seen one!) and 2) is there anything worse than turning up to a party in the same dress as someone else?...and somebody who probably looks 10x more glam than you do? Nope, I didn't think so either!

Onto the haul...
...all the 'essentials', obvs! (Please feel free to verbally abuse me for using that word)

Hope you enjoyed this random, terribly shot and written post guys. As always, thanks so much for reading!


P.S in typical 'me' fashion this post was written - well, the majority of it - a good week or so ago, but I've obviously only just got round to finishing it off. 10 days late. Oh well, why break the habit of a life time?...and that, love, is why you are a disgrace to the world of blogging. Said every blogger reading this post ;)
© the Elle next door

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