OOTD: "Hi stranger, my skirt would love you to check out my arse!"

Some people just never learn do they? I mean there's being a big enough tit/mugging yourself off/[insert common/cockney/rough phrase which basically means 'making a fool out of yourself'] by going out in windy conditions with an extremely flowy, "Hi stranger, my skirt would love you to check out my arse" skirt once. And then there's making the same mistake again. I mean, who on earth would be silly enough to do that? A bloody knob, I'll tell you that for nothing.

Hi, my name's Ellie...and I'm a bloody knob!

Yes guys, of course I didn't learn from my mistake the first time round. I'd love to say it was intentional and really I've just been working hard at the old squat challenge and wanted to show the world I could give Beyonce a run for her money (in my 'never ever coming true' dreams!) but no, I was actually just on an evening/night out, trying to blend in with the crowd. Clearly my arse had other ideas.

You'll be pleased to know - actually, you probably won't give a shit crap, but just humour me for a moment - that I did manage to catch a couple of "hurry the f**k up and take the picture while the wind's died down" outfit photo's.
** Warning - if you are offended by shocking/vile/unbelievable/inexcusable roots, please do not look at the 2 pictures below!**
...I wasn't joking about the roots was I?

Crop that raised a few eyebrows with the 'male' members of family: Primark
"Hey, check out my arse" skirt: River Island
Jeffrey Campbell wannabe's that are practically glued to my feet: Ever Yours

I am also well aware that these pictures make me look like a massive up my own arse, twatty poser. I'd actually love to say that I was attempting to 'model the skirt', but in actual fact, the wind was so strong that I practically looked like a prosi in the red light district, with my knickers on show. #Smooth #PutYourBridgetJonesKnickersAway #PleaseBlogger/GodStopMeFromUsingHashtagsInBlogposts

I guess that's about it for today. So, basically from this post we've discovered that a) I never learn my lessons regardless of how humiliating they are b) I am clearly working far too hard, that is the only possible reason that I can have for possessing roots like this and not doing something about it and c) I will never, ever, be able to pull of an OOTD  pose without looking like a complete and utter tit. Ever!!

Hope you enjoyed this posy guys. As always, thanks so much for reading!


REVIEW: Bioderma Sensibio H2O

If there's a beauty phase, I'm likely to go through it. If there's a certain product hype, the chances are, I'm going to give in to it. And if there's a big, fat, massive, humongous [insert generic words for 'big' here as I'm running out and can't be arsed bothered to google some more, here] bandwagon, you can bet your life that I'm going to be jumping on that quicker than you can say "someone please get Kim Kardashian a stylist!" (...which in retrospect is actually quite a long sentence so doesn't exactly work, but you get what I was trying to do there people, right? Right...)

So, Kimmy K, bandwagon's and my confession that I practically have the will power of a fat person in Greggs aside; what is this bandwagon that I so inelegantly jumped upon this time? Well, you didn't think Bioderma was finally going to come to the UK and I was going to be able to resist being a sheep, copying bloggers/youtubers, caving in and buying their famous Micellar solution - previously known as Crealine H20 - did you? No, I think not...
I know 99% of the people who read my blog would have heard all about Bioderma before - my Mum, my Mum and my Mum are pretty up to date in the skincare stakes - but for the sake of the post and a good review (good review? pull the other one love) here's what Bioderma have to say about their best seller...

"At the cutting edge of innovation, BIODERMA has pioneered micellar solutions. Specially formulated for sensitive, normal to dry skins, the Sensibio H2O micellar solution gently cleanses face and eyes. It removes water-resistant make-up.
The micelles contained in its formula effectively micro-emulsify impurities while maintaining the skin’s balance (soap-free, physiological pH).

Soothing and decongesting active ingredients prevent the feelings of irritation often caused by cleansing."

And for the most important part, which you've all been hanging off the edge of your seats for/dying with anticipation/brimming with apprehension - again, because tone can't be conveyed in text, the level of sarcasm in that last comment is akin to the level of swelling in poor Kimmy K's ankles (don't pretend you haven't seen those awful perspex shoe pictures) - here's what I think...

Bioderma is a liquid cleanser/make up remover which is best used by pouring onto a cotton pad and shoving it all over your moosh gliding it all over your face. I am pretty happy - in fact, extremely happy - with my skin care regime at the moment, so for me, I'm using Bioderma purely as a quick and effective make up remover, not really a cleanser as such. And that is exactly what it is. Quick, easy and to be quite honest...bloody amazing at removing your make up. I used one cotton pad with a single squirt of the solution and it literally removed every last scrap of make up (and considering I like to trowel at least 10inches of it on my face, use hardcore waterproof eye products and practically use concealer like polyfilla - that really is saying something.) No left over panda eyes, no oily residue, no red, inflamed skin. Just *put on your best, cheesy American accent* "Clean, clear and under control"

As you may have noticed, the Micellar water (pretty sure I've spelt that wrong throughout this whole post, sorry spelling police!) that I picked up happened to be the version targeted towards sensitive skin. Now, I don't have sensitive skin whatsoever, it's actually normal/oily - I know what you're thinking..."well why didn't you pick up the Oily skin version you tit?!" - however with the rest of my skin care catering nicely towards my skin type I wanted to start off with what I imagine is the most gentle solution of Bioderma. My (simple) way of thinking is that if the mildest solution can be that effective, then imagine what the rest of the line can do. In a big fat contradictory u-turn however, I am so pleased and impressed with the Sensibo, that I will be sticking with this bad boy for the foreseeable future.

I actually picked this up from a little pharmacy dangerously close to where our offices are, which is Bliss Pharmacy in Marble Arch. Now, I'm going to be honest here - as quite frankly, I don't really know how to do anything but 100% honesty - and say that I actually begrudge buying anything from this place. Without sounding like a moany bitch, the staff are pushy, bordering on rude and the products are more often than not more expensive than a lot of other shops. I bought the 250ml bottle for £11.99 which is more than I've seen online and elsewhere, but to be quite frank, I was so embarrassingly, humiliatingly excited about seeing Bioderma in the UK that there was no way I was walking out of the shop without one. Screw you enticing beauty products, screw you!!

So I guess that's about it for this review. To wrap it up - as is so often needed due to my never ending rambles - in terms of a make up remover, this is 100% Holy Grail status for me. Nothing comes near or close by, and the day that a product does pip this to the post, will most probably be the day pigs fly! (No post is complete without a healthy dose of exaggeration is it?)

What do we all think of Bioderma? Fellow Londoners have you caved yet, anyone else in love with it as much as I am? I would love to hear your thoughts!
Hope you enjoyed this post guys, and it was useful for some of you that may be considering buying this product. As always, thank you so much for reading!


OOTD: A Spring in my step, a call for your help!

I mentioned before that I am one of those girls that at the first signs of sun - wacks out the RayBan's, the short shorts (sorry dad), the wedged heels, the crop tops - oh, the 1990's called by the way girls, they want their style back - you get the gist...well, hopefully you do. If you don't, what I'm basically trying to say is that my style goes from "I'm seconds away from getting frostbite" to "get me to a beach bitch" quicker than you can say 'make the most of it'. Which is where my laziness, lack of ability to bash out a blog post in an hour or so comes into play. Hence, the slightly summery/spring outfit being posted on a completely s**t and windy day. No point in sugar coating things eh?...

Pastel colours, check. Linen Blazer, check. Wedge heels, check. Moody/vacant/"let's not look at the camera to attempt to make this look natural" pose ü ü ü 
Now, these jeans. I am, without a doubt, the least 'arty' person you will ever come across in your life. Managing to draw a stick man is a genuine achievement for me - I know, that tragic - so when I decided on a whim to rip the shit out of D.I.Y my jeans up a bit...I wasn't the most confident in how they'd turn out.

I was aiming for this...
and er, sort of ended up with this...
Don't say I didn't try!

I'll leave the arty stuff to Neil Buchanan in the future (You know, the guy from Art Attack? If you don't know what Art attack is then quite frankly...you haven't lived!)
Another new edition to my wardrobe/floor/any pointy things that I can chuck clothes, accessories and what not over, is the 'statement necklace' - tell me I'm not the only one that feels like a bit of a knob using that phrase? No, just me then... - below. I bought this necklace because I just felt like the outfit was a little...'beige' without it. You know, a bit boring, a bit vanilla, the Leona Lewis of outfits. (Soz Le Lew!) And, despite owning practically no bling whatsoever, I actually really like it. A good old 'statement necklace' - yep, still feel like a knob - really does dress up an outfit. Who'd have known? Well, clearly everybody apart from 10 years too late Ellie!
Off white blazer that makes me look in desperate need of some Daz: H&M
Ripped to shit DIY Jeans: Primark
Jumper: H&M
Wedges: Primark (yeah...you knew I wasn't going to be able to make it through a post without getting a primark item in there somewhere
Necklace: Accessorize (regressing to my primary school days with one purchase)

The weather in the UK has typically turned shit shocking again - oh god, I'm turning into one of those boring people that only talk about the weather, the next thing you know I'll be watching Countdown - so as I'm not getting any natural sun, I may have to finally admit that despite being olive skinned, I do occasionally delve into the magic bottle of fakeness (we all know that's my 'subtle' way of saying fake tan) and I need your recommendations girls!! I'm currently a Xen Tan Dark lotion devotee, which I do absolutely love, but the natural experimenter - is that even a real word? - in me needs to try something new. I'm considering the Xen Tan Moroccan tan as I love the colour, smells etc. of Xen Tan but just wish the lotion sunk in a bit quicker. Or potentially the St Tropez dark mousse? Has anyone tried any of those, written any reviews? If so, please leave your links - or anybody else's - in the comments below. After all, who knows better than beauty bloggers?...my thoughts exactly :)

Hope you enjoyed this post all. As always, thank you so much for reading!


OOTD: "You are not going out in that!"

Some outfits are just made for those over-protective glares. You know the ones I mean (well, you probably don't seeing as this post has just started and I've already started waffling a load of bull...but I'll tell you now anyway) The looks I mean are the ones that anybody with a dad, brother, uncle - basically any male member of the family, you get the gist - will have known and seen a thousand times before. The "you are not going out in that" look.

Today's outfit is one that I knew, even before I put it on and was just thinking about it in my head, would absolutely, definitely, for certain, 1trillion% (Oh I do love a good adjective) earn me one those looks.

Cue "you are no longer my sister" "I disown you as a daughter" "you look like a slut!" outfit (before anyone thinks I have a family worthy of Jeremy Kyle airtime, I am actually exaggerating!)
The Shoes. Ohh the shoes, I am - as completely sad and lame that I know this is going to sound - completely in love with them. I'd been after a pair of strappy blue sandals for a while and good old Zara (the shop, not a person, if you're slow on the up take...like myself) pulled it out the bag with these. Royal blue (one of my favourite colours), high enough to look amazing but not too high to make you a Bambi-esque person (again...like myself) fall arse over tit, and gold 'hardware' which just straddles line between classy and ever ever so slightly tacky. They are *wack out your best Cheryl Cole geordie accent again* right up my street...
Crop top (who else feels like 6yrs old again using that term?): Primark
Skirt: Forever 21
Shoes that made me 'eek' in store...consequently making me look like a complete tit: Zara

Before anyone gets offended because they've worn a similar outfit and I've basically said the men in my life think I looked like some sort of trollop, just to reassure you that you - or we - don't (at least I hope we don't?) I could be wearing a burka and they would still think I was showing too much flesh. Some call it over-protective, some call it annoying, I call it a pain in my - very nearly on show when I bent over - arse!

Hope you enjoyed this post guys. Sorry I've gone all MIA - is it sad that I still feel like a Kardashian saying that? actually, don't answer that - on the blog front again. I've spent the last 2weeks working on Geordie Shore (I know!) which true to TV form has been as crazy as ever. I'd like to say I'll get my arse in gear and plan posts in advance on days off but...we all know that with all the blogs and YouTubers that I need to catch up on, that's definitely probably not going to happen ;) In the mean time, as always, thanks so much for reading!

© the Elle next door

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